known as the chicken...

oooo... choir has been really enjoyable man... so far had prac twice with the spdlight's team, and i really liked the part that they always factor God into the ministry, how they have prayers and bible study at times during pract. kinda different from the times i had in drama some time back. Drama is fun, though most of the time we were just practicing the technicalities of acting and rehearsing and stuff... didnt really factor God into the drama ministry... well im not sure about now. haha...

ooo still adapting myself to singing bass. lol. izzy seemed kinda shocked that i was in alto/bass. haha... wad to do... me mature liao ma... voice deepened. haha... kinda fun, the alto parts are really lovely to sing... just so nice and melodious to hear as they harmonise with the rest of the group... ooo...

working for a slight while these days... burning time away... hmmm but no more time to excercise and lose weight. ahh... seemed like a 7day week, went back to help my boss over my last weekend... busy busy... today OT-ed again. >.<

tired tired...

Watching desperate housewife, just saw a scene, and i went LoL... haha for me to know and for nobody else to find out. lala...

Grey's anatomy is next, the show which made me teared last week... >.<

My family is the only one is singapore who ever quarrel over one stupid thing.

The modem...

how STUPID can it get??

My dad wants to off it by 12am because he needs to sleep, and he say he cant keep waking up in the middle of the night just to off it... i mean, why is offing the modem so important?? then he starts complaining about his electricity bill going so high again.

Then he starts again with his Dumb equation:

a switched on Modem = Eugene playing game = eugene not sleeping = eugene accidently doze off while playing game = having computer and lights on thruout the night = increased electricity consumption.

Hello?? you think i want to doze off and sleep with the lights on delibrately?! you think whenever the modem is on, it means im ALWAYS playing game??

I know i do game at times, sometimes late at about 12am+, but tts because sometimes only my frens are available, and im invited for a game. Not everyone can be online at the same time in the afternoon/evening to meet up and chat/game together you know. everyone is busy sometimes one of the best time to meet up online is night time.

ZzZzzz...

no comments man...

just leave the damn modem switched on thruout the night la! tt is NOT going to increase pub bills by 30% or anything ridiculous like that man... hey most of the time my aircon is switched off at night lor! and running an air-condition unit uses more energy than using a modem. dotz...

Sigh...

Just couldnt help it... Im sorry man...

Its been so long since i had it, just couldn't control any more... just couldn't resist any longer...

Just had to confess, conscience is killing me...

did it yesterday night, when everyone is asleep... was risky still though...

I know no matter wad i say now will not change the fact that i already did it...

im sorry... im reall am... sighs... i dunno who will understand my situation... maybe no one will... no one is me...

maybe im weak, maybe im pathetic, maybe i just couldn't control...

will people forgive me? will they have a different perception of me again? will they treat me differently from now?

will they think that im some sick guy?

I dunno man... sighs...

didn't know after having it, it can make me so guilty...

i mean...







eating Tom Yam noodles when you're still sick really that bad?

lol.

Ok... once again the same whole complain keeps repeating itself...

"The PUB bill is very high, blah blah blabbery blah..."

And my dad's solution? The home's internet modem will be switched off at 12am!! To save electricity!! ZzZzzz...

Ok lets do a mini poll, who else other than me has an internet curfew, for the purpose of saving electricity?? The poll is located above this post.

Besides sometimes I do my part in offing my air-con almost every night before i sleep, partly because i also enjoy the natural air and wind from the fan...

Besides, by offing the modem, that does not guarantee that i will off my computer. Since most of the time my dad has this equation that;
"Eugene on the com with the modem on" = "Eugene playing game",

so hence "no modem" = "no game" = "offed computer" = "electricity saved" = "cheaper PUB bills".

Dotz...

Ok, in that case, pls go shut down all your fish tank eqiupments and stop wasting water on pathetic creatures swimming pointlessly around some glass rectangular contain, also known as fish tank. Its like a prison for those fishes man! Limited space for them to swim in, so constricted!! Throwing innocent fishes into prison when they haven done anything wrong? Throw them into prison so they can give visual pleasure to their owners? (refer to past entries for further fish flaming)

Hmmm... maybe i should start a "Free the Fishes" initiative... for the freedom of fishes!! hmmmm...

Went for a jog just now at 9.30 before CSI... my legs deserve a good night's rest. I love my bed... so comfy... lol...

Less than 2 months before i'm enrolled into Pulau Tekong's Holiday Resort and Spa...

Seems like puberty is still kicking inside me... my voice have slightly deepened over these past few years i think... recently was singing some high notes which i could reach comfortably one year ago, but then i almost croaked. haha...

Yea praise God... got in for speedlight's choir :) will be accompanying Jared in the bass section. haha...

(to ms chen enhui : Nono, its not what you are thinking! hahaha...)

Good Friday is fast approaching, the day our Saviour was crucified our our sake. Anyway ya, lets all celebrate his victory together at our church this friday at Lighthouse Evangelism Woodlands/Tampines at 10am sharp.

To my cell frens: come to the woodlands one, the event is live there. The tampines site will be showing the video feed. Which i heard it might have approx 0.2 to 1 sec delay lag from real time. >.<

Upcoming tasks:
- Gym session tmr (dang im getting fat)
- Meeting with Dr. Lim this thursday for lunch
- Choir prac on thurs evening

Grey's Anatomy: "The best way to manage pain... is to push it through..."

Watching tv now... and my brother is just pissing me off man... what is his problem... Seriously, what the hell has Siglap sec done to my brother?! That retarded school has never changed since i joined and graduated man... always showing his sickening black face, throwing his moody tantrum everywhere the house for no reason at all...

To parents of Singapore, do not, for whatever reason at all, send your child to Siglap Secondary School located at Pasir Ris Drive 10.

Back to my tv and msn...

~Love is not a necessity, but it is life’s greatest gift and luxury.~

When God first created humans, he did it so that he can have a relationship with us. So that we may share and enjoy the fellowship among all the wonderful things he created in this planet with our Heavenly Father. Among all other things God created, He loved us the most. For we are made according to His image and likeness. Although we may be insignificant as compared to his other magnificent creations like the mountains and the scenic sea, He loved us much more than anything else. God even gave us dominion over birds and fishes, and any other living creatures of this world.

~Love does not expect anything but love in return.
Love knows when to put pride to the side,
Because the greatest thing one can be proud of
Is a love that is shared.~

Instead of Loving our Father in return, what do we do?

We turn our backs against Him... we ignored His instructions and commandments... we rather go do our own things rather than spending time with our Heavenly Father... we create false idols to worship instead of prasing and thanking Him for all that He's done... we go out to endlessly trying to earn our first million than have a relationship with our Creator... we rather ignore Him as if God is non-existant...

~Love is or should be unconditional.
Love is giving and selfless.~

Despite all that... one fact remains...

He still Loves us... and hopes that we will one day turn back to reunite with Him...

~Love is undying devotion.
Love is not resentful and does not rejoice in wrong, but celebrates the right.~

Haha... the funny thing is... how sometimes when we run so far away from God, although God is hurt, but yet, he still chooses to love us and still speaks to us through unique ways. Our Father never gives up, that we would one day run back to him, saying: 'I love you too daddy'

Was reading Phyllis' book, The Purpose Driven Life in church today, and here's a few excerpt:

"God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip for for ministry to others"

"The very experiences that you have resented or regretted most in life - the onesyou've wanted to hide and forget - are the experiences God wants to use help others"

It is also amazing how God uses painful events to help me realise how much God loves me and the hurt, the heartache when we choose to disobey God.

Well basically, about several hours ago, one of my dearest friend, the one who i care and love, shared with me something over the phone. She apperently did something which i would never thought she would do. I was shocked... surprised... somewhat hurt too...

I dunno, but somehow i also felt deceived... my heart aches too...

But then i know... deep down I do not blame her... i do not control her... she has the every right to make her decisions, and i respect that.

I still cherish her...

~Love endures all, hopes all, bears all.
Love is believing, sharing, dreaming.~

And as i was thinking and reflecting... it occured to me, Hey, God created us... He loves us... And He has given us a freedom of choice to do whatever we want... yet at times we choose to disobey our Father, and when we do, our Father will feel hurt. And comeon, honestly, how many donkey times have we strayed away from God, even us christians, sometimes we also hurt God by not doing QT, or disobeying Him at other areas... Have we realized just how much hurt we give to God each time we draw far from Him.

I was hurt just now, indirectly by someone who I love and treasure, and that feeling Sucks. I come to hink how much i have hurt God, and how much of that Sucky feeling my God felt... it urks me...

After feeling the pain... I came to realise, just how much heartache can one give to God if one chose to hurt Him.

God still loves us no matter what we have done, His doors are always open to welcome us back to His arms again.

~Love is Honesty.
Love is friendship, companionship, and more.~

To my friends: Dun disappoint God... it really hurts the Father to see His children disobeying him... and the feeling of being hurt sucks.

~Love is completion.
Forgiving.
Understanding and inspiring.~

Well... although i cant really comprehend God's love for us fully, i pray someday i would... i mean, God is someone whom i know who still Loves those who hates and/or ignores Him, especially those unbelievers. Its damn hard for us humans to do that.

~For the unperfected will pass upon
The coming of that which is perfect,
And Perfect love never ends.~

argh...

cant take it anymore... need to rant before i go mad...



Love. wad a strange Phenomenon... no matter how one-sided it may seem, the guy still keeps going on to love... to care... without giving up...

Hmmm... something just hit me.

Ok i think God has just taught me something... ahhh... ok.

Wait let me think and reflect.

hmmm... i think i shall wirte a book...

Shall cook ramen and reflect... be right back!!

Hmmm... she said that i'm such a pushover... hmmm...

Maybe im too kind? maybe i'm too polite? Maybe i seem too be weak in standing for my rights? maybe i always seem to let ppl 'overtake' me and take my place? maybe i'm the kind who always let ppl win?

well, ms chen, maybe its becoz im trying my best to be not of this world, no point fighting over who should be in front of the queue in yoshinonia. ultimately i know i'll get my meal even though it might be a few minutes later than that women in front of me.

Trying to be different from the rest... but ya... sometimes its hard...

Blogs... a relatively good medium for one to write out his/her feelings if he/she has no one to confide to... eh, but sometimes you know there would be ppl reading it, and you know you do not want a particular someone to read it, coz you dun intend to let he/she to know about it.

Hmmm... so should there be multiple blogs that a owner should have that "cater" to different group of frens to read? hmmm...

But if i dun rant it here... where else do i pour out all my thoughts and emotions?

Solution: This is where having chicken stuffed toys come into play!!

I believe stuffed chickens have ears too... lol...

Back to reality... my enlistment date is on 9th June 2006 12.30pm. The letter finally came... exactly 2 more months... ooo... time seemed so short all of a sudden. ahh...

Hmm... it seems that only when "something big" or some "shocking event" happens, i then get some motivation to blog... lol...

I love honesty... I love honest girls...
It made me treasure you more...

Okie, back to the last episode of apprentice. :)

The world will never understand... although i hope they will someday...

Through conversations with certain frens, its kinda obvious that our thinking and perceptions of life are way different. For those who don't factor 'God' in their lives, they seem to living based on standards set by world and this society, and not concerning with what's beyond from this earthly realm that we are in. This place that we are living in is not permanent. We all know we will pass away one day, but that is also not the end of life. There is still a future after this earth. Its saddening to know people just wouldn't want to care for that future... for it is that future, that truly reflects our existence, or our death. As we live now, It is our actions and decisions that we do and make, determines our true future when our body returns to dust.

Facts. Information. We can share our story and facts to others. But... for them to believe and to accept the facts, its way beyond our control. Its their choice.

We can only do so much...

"Only You"

my heart is waiting
my soul is longing
my eyes are searching
just to see Your face

my thoughts are on You
my words only speak Your name
my arms are reaching out
holding on to You

You say come to me
and I will come to You
only You can fill my heart
with Your love

only You can fill my life
with Your touch
Jesus come and fill my soul
with Your love, Your love

You're always near me
when I feel no one's there
so show me You're listening
I need to know You care

You said You're near me
and I will draw near You
only You can fill my heart
with Your love

only You can fill my life
with Your touch
Jesus come and fill my soul
with Your love

You said come to me
and I will run to You
only You can fill my heart
with Your love

only You can fill my life
with Your touch
Jesus come and fill my soul
with Your love, Your love

Was listening to this song on my mp3 when i was on a bus travelling to another location from seoul, korea. As the song plays, the magnificent scenic view of God's creation were just in front of me. The world is just so vast and beautiful. And I am just a puny insignificant human being, yet among all other creations and wonders that God made throughout time, I know i am loved by my God so much. My small size can no way be compared to the snowy mountains that God created. Yet, he loves me. Loves me so much that he's willing to save me from this dying world.

"You're always near me
when I feel no one's there"

It is because that my God loves me so much, that made me want to care and love others too. I want to know how is it like loving someone, caring for someone, sacrificing for someone, taking care of someone.

And i think i have found that special someone...

And i truly thank God for allowing her to come into my life.